Right, let’s talk about the holy trinity of kitchen nightmares – the three spots that can derail your deposit return faster than you can say “professional cleaning required.” After fifteen years cleaning properties across Camberwell and the wider South East London area, I can tell you with absolute certainty that these are the battlegrounds where tenancy deposits go to die.
You know that feeling when you’re watching a horror film and you’re shouting at the protagonist not to open that door? That’s exactly how I feel when tenants tell me they’ve “given the kitchen a good clean” but haven’t touched behind the cooker, under the sink, or inside the extractor fan. Spoiler alert: the inventory clerk absolutely will open those doors, move that cooker, and peer inside that extractor. And what they find there can haunt you financially for months.
Why These Three Spots Are Deposit Deal-Breakers
Here’s the thing about inventory checks – they’re specifically designed to find what you’ve missed. While you’re polishing visible surfaces and making the worktops gleam, experienced clerks are heading straight for the hidden horrors. These three areas are the cleaning equivalent of exam questions that separate the students who actually revised from those who just skimmed the textbook.
Landlords and letting agents aren’t being deliberately awkward (well, mostly). These spots accumulate genuinely disgusting levels of grime because they’re used constantly but cleaned rarely. Behind your cooker is basically a grease museum documenting every fry-up, roast dinner, and late-night stir-fry of your entire tenancy. Under the sink is where pipe leaks, product spills, and general dampness create a perfect storm of staining and potential mould. And your extractor fan? That’s been faithfully sucking up cooking vapours for years, transforming into a sticky, greasy time capsule.
The financial stakes are real. In London, where deposits regularly exceed £2,000, even a “moderate clean required” notation can cost you £150-300 in deductions. A full professional clean charge? You’re looking at £400-600. For context, that’s roughly equivalent to selling both kidneys on the black market, though slightly less painful.
Behind the Cooker: Confronting the Grease Gallery
If you’ve never looked behind your cooker, prepare yourself mentally. This is archaeological work. We’re talking layers of grease so thick they’ve achieved geological significance. I once found a chip behind a cooker that had fossilised so completely, I briefly considered donating it to the Natural History Museum.
Safe Access and Moving Your Cooker
First things first – safety. If you’ve got a gas cooker, check whether it’s connected via a flexible hose or rigid pipe. Flexible hoses can usually allow you to pull the cooker forward about a foot, which might be enough. Rigid pipes mean you absolutely cannot move it yourself – this is a job for a Gas Safe registered engineer, and no, your mate Dave who “knows about these things” doesn’t count.
Electric cookers are more forgiving. Switch off at the mains, then gently pull the cooker forward. Place cardboard or old towels on the floor to protect your flooring from scratches. Most modern freestanding cookers have adjustable feet – slightly unscrewing these can make moving easier. Built-in ovens are a different beast entirely, often requiring you to clean around them rather than moving them out.
The Wall Warfare
Right, you’ve moved the cooker and you’re now staring at what looks like a Jackson Pollock painting rendered entirely in various shades of brown grease. Don’t panic. Spray the walls liberally with a heavy-duty degreaser (I’m partial to a good commercial kitchen degreaser, but Elbow Grease or even a paste of bicarbonate of soda will do the job). Let it sit for 10-15 minutes – patience here saves elbow work later.
For painted walls, use a non-abrasive sponge and warm water with washing-up liquid after the degreaser has done its work. For tiles, you can be more aggressive – a scrubbing brush or even a plastic scraper for the really stubborn bits. Work from top to bottom, because grease runs downward like a particularly unpleasant waterfall.
The tiles behind the cooker often show a colour gradient from “pristine white” at the edges to “dystopian beige” in the middle. Your goal is uniform colour. If standard cleaning doesn’t cut it, a paste of bicarbonate of soda and white vinegar acts like a mild bleach and can lift those ingrained stains.
The Floor and Skirting Board Rescue
The floor behind the cooker is where rogue peas, escaped rice grains, and mystery substances go to retire. Sweep first – you’ll be amazed what comes out. Then tackle the stuck-on grime with hot water and washing-up liquid. For the really stubborn fossilised bits (why does spilled oil turn into something resembling superglue?), a plastic scraper is your friend.
Don’t forget the skirting boards. They’re often splattered with the same grease as the walls but in more concentrated form at floor level. Wipe them down thoroughly – white skirting boards should actually be white, not “vintage magnolia.”
Under the Sink: The Cabinet of Curiosities
Opening the under-sink cupboard is like opening a time capsule, except instead of meaningful historical artefacts, you find half-empty bottles of cleaning products you bought with good intentions, mysterious damp patches, and that sponge that died sometime in 2022.
The Great Clear-Out
Empty everything out. And I mean everything. This serves two purposes: it lets you clean properly, and it forces you to confront what you’ve been hoarding down there. You don’t need seventeen half-empty bottles of washing-up liquid, trust me.
While it’s empty, inspect for leaks, water damage, or mould. Small amounts of mould can be treated, but significant growth might need reporting to your landlord – it’s a maintenance issue, not a cleaning issue. Look for that telltale watermark ring pattern on the base that screams “the U-bend leaked in 2023.”
Cabinet Interior Deep Clean
The interior of under-sink cabinets develops a unique smell – part damp, part cleaning product, part existential dread. Wipe down all surfaces with warm soapy water, paying special attention to corners where grime accumulates. If there are water stains on the base, a mixture of white vinegar and water can help lift them.
For persistent odours, sprinkle bicarbonate of soda on the base, leave it overnight, then vacuum or sweep it out. If there’s mould (the black spotty kind), treat it with a proper mould and mildew spray, following product instructions carefully. Never mix different cleaning products – this isn’t chemistry class, and you’re not trying to create chlorine gas.
Pipe Work and U-Bends
The pipes themselves need attention. Wipe down the visible pipework with a damp cloth – you’d be surprised how much dust and grime accumulates on them. Check around where pipes enter the cupboard for any limescale deposits or rust marks on the cabinet surface. These can often be cleaned with a limescale remover or even white vinegar.
The area around the waste pipe connection is particularly prone to dried-on residue from whatever’s leaked over the years. A small brush (an old toothbrush works brilliantly) can get into those tight spots around pipe fittings.
Inside the Extractor Fan: The Grease Trap Challenge
If you’ve never cleaned your extractor fan, I have news for you: that silver filter hasn’t been silver for quite some time. It’s been bronze, then gold, then a sort of murky brown that defies description. This is the final boss of kitchen cleaning.
Filter Liberation and Soaking Strategy
Most extractor filters clip or slide out relatively easily – check the underside of your hood for release catches. Once removed, prepare yourself for the weight. Grease is surprisingly heavy when accumulated over months or years. Some filters are metal mesh (cleanable), others are charcoal (replaceable). If you’ve got charcoal filters and they’re saturated, you need new ones – end of story.
For metal filters, create a soaking solution in your sink or a large washing-up bowl. Hot water with a generous squirt of washing-up liquid and a handful of soda crystals works wonders. Let them soak for at least 30 minutes, preferably longer. For extremely greasy filters, an overnight soak isn’t overkill.
After soaking, use a soft brush to scrub away the loosened grease. You might need to repeat the process. Some people swear by putting metal filters in the dishwasher – this works, but be prepared for your dishwasher to smell like a chip shop afterwards.
The Internal Clean
With filters removed, you can access the interior of the hood. This is where it gets properly grim. The surfaces inside will be coated with a sticky grease layer that attracts dust, creating a substance I can only describe as “grime toffee.”
Spray liberally with degreaser and let it work its magic. Then wipe with kitchen paper or cloths you’re prepared to throw away – this stuff doesn’t wash out easily. You may need several passes. For the fan blades themselves (if visible and accessible), carefully wipe each blade. Some extractor fans have sealed motor units where you can’t reach the blades – that’s fine, just clean what’s accessible.
Reassembly and Testing
This is crucial: make absolutely certain your filters are completely dry before reinstalling them. Putting damp filters back creates the perfect environment for mould and unpleasant smells. Once everything’s dry and reinstalled, turn the extractor on and check it’s working properly. It should run smoothly without unusual noises and actually extract air – hold a piece of tissue paper up to it; it should be pulled towards the fan.
Your Deep Clean Arsenal: Essential Kit
You don’t need to spend a fortune, but having the right tools makes everything easier. Here’s your shopping list:
Heavy-duty degreaser (commercial kitchen cleaner is ideal), bicarbonate of soda and white vinegar (the dynamic duo), washing-up liquid, soda crystals, rubber gloves (protect those hands), non-abrasive sponges and cloths, scrubbing brushes of various sizes, plastic scrapers, kitchen paper, a bucket, and spray bottles for mixing solutions.
For about £25-30, you can equip yourself with everything needed. Compare that to the potential deposit deductions, and suddenly spending a Saturday wielding a scrubbing brush seems like a rather good investment.
Timing Your Kitchen Deep Clean
Don’t leave these jobs until your final day of tenancy. Seriously, don’t. You’ll be knackered, stressed, and prone to taking shortcuts that will cost you later. Ideally, tackle this deep clean about two weeks before you move out. This gives you time to do it properly, let everything dry thoroughly, and even do touch-ups if needed.
As for the order of operations: I recommend starting with the extractor (get those filters soaking early), then moving to behind the cooker while the extractor soaks, and finishing with under the sink. This way, you’re working top to bottom through the room, which prevents re-contaminating areas you’ve already cleaned.
Time-wise? Behind the cooker takes about an hour if it’s not horrific, up to two if it is. Under the sink is usually 30-45 minutes. The extractor can vary wildly – anywhere from 45 minutes to half a day if you’re dealing with years of neglect. Build in breaks; this is marathon cleaning, not a sprint.
Take Pride in the Details
Look, I won’t pretend that deep cleaning behind your cooker is anyone’s idea of a fun Saturday. But there’s genuine satisfaction in restoring these hidden areas to their former glory. It’s the difference between handing back keys with confidence and spending weeks arguing with your letting agent about deposit deductions.
And if you’re standing in your Camberwell kitchen, reading this article, and thinking “absolutely not, I’d rather set fire to my deposit than spend my weekend doing this,” well, that’s precisely why we exist. Sometimes the professional option isn’t an indulgence – it’s a tactical investment in your sanity and your finances.
Whatever route you choose, remember: inventory clerks have seen it all. But they’ll appreciate – and more importantly, your deposit will reflect – the effort you’ve put into these critical areas. Now, go forth and conquer that grease. Your future self will thank you.